Obsessive Much?

I’ll be back with another, more upbeat post later today, but right now I have a bit of venting to do. So, enjoy! 🙂

I may have a problem. Well, another problem. This weekend I was supposed to go out  both Friday and Saturday night–dinner with friends on Friday, then a birthday party and more going out with friends on Saturday. But right now in my life, I’m so obsessively focused on my weight loss and on saving money (I’m desperately trying to get out of debt so I can accumulate more and open my bakery/cafe–more on that at a later time). All I think about is my work out schedule and what I’ll eat when. I only like to eat items for which I know the nutrition make up, and I am slowly cutting alcohol and soda out of my diet all together. And I don’t want to spend money on things that are ultimately bad for me. Like shopping for clothes or using a credit card to live, spending money and time on these things is not something I should be doing right now.

So if you take me outside of my little box, suggest that I imbibe with a delicious, expensive cocktail and indulge in a few oil-soaked french fries, I start to freak out. When will I work out? How long will it take me to burn off that vodka tonic? How will I pay for said vodka tonic? Good. Lord. My mind keeps going back to an episode of MTV’s True Life, where this guy wanted to lose a bunch of weight but had to cut himself off from the world in order to do so. He was too easily distracted and tempted by his friends, his family, his job. He cut himself out of all of that and focused only on losing weight. I’m afraid this is what will happen to me.

But I want it all! I want to lose the weight, broaden my social circle, be a vibrant member of my community, not be afraid to make eye contact with strangers in Target (yep, that’s real), etc. I don’t want just a piece of the pie, I want the whole damn thing! So the question is: how do I balance my weight loss with my social life? Or…

How do I have my cake and eat it, too?

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