Stuck

This has been such a throw away week for me. I’ve been eating healthy but my portions have been a bit overkill. I’ve tried to move as much as possible, doing a few easy workouts and forcing myself to walk more. But thanks to being a woman (gag me), I’ve been so emotional, constantly hungry, super achey, and completely exhausted. It also doesn’t help that my work schedule has been a bit wonky and there’s some other stressors in my life right now. Unfortunately, I didn’t do a great job preparing myself for this onslaught.

Yesterday, for example, I was up at 5am for a work event. I didn’t eat breakfast (other than insane amounts of coffee) and forgot to pack a lunch. So I had zero energy all day, got home and was too tired to do anything, so of course I ate way too much and then curled up on the couch for the night. Every day this week I’ve gone to bed thinking, “tomorrow I’ll get back on track. Tomorrow will be different.”

I understand these things will happen time to time throughout this journey (or every month, in my case). And it’s okay to have a moment of weakness every now and then. My old lifestyle wasn’t created over a few days, weeks, or months–it’s been 20-some years in the making. So like a bad spray tan, or your crush on Justin Timberlake, it’s not going to go away over night. But I can’t keep throwing entire weeks away like this. I’ve got goals to meet!

This has been my mantra the past few days. You maybe can’t seize every moment of every day, but you have to try–you have to do what you can with what you have in that moment.

I think part of the issue, too, is that I watched these first 40+ pounds basically just fall off with so little effort. And I assumed, being as big as I am, that things would just naturally continue to progress that way. Now that I’m having to actually work a bit to see movement, and feeling that nagging that I still have so far to go, it’s leaving me feeling a bit shaken and a bit out of control. Which is my least favorite feeling ever πŸ™‚

When that happens, I stop, I breathe, and I remind myself to do what I can, with what I have, where I am.

2 thoughts on “Stuck

  1. One of the hardest things for me about changing my diet and fitness in a more permanent way has been learning to rebound after an off day or weekend or week…I think once I got to the point where I could wake up in the morning and not beat myself up over what ate or didn’t do the day before, that was a HUGE step forward emotionally. And I’m still not there all the time, but it’s all progress! So hang in there – today is a new day! πŸ™‚

  2. Thanks, Esther! It’s still something I’m struggling with day in and day out, but for me it’s just all about consistency. If I keep doing the things I know are good for me, they’ll eventually pay off in some way–even if the scale doesn’t immediately show progress, I’m getting healthier πŸ™‚

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