In Which I Overcome Fear. Twice.

I have been plateauing like nothing else lately, and for the life of me, I can’t figure out why. I’m doing exactly what I should be doing. Every day I:

1. Eat roughly 1,500 calories of healthful, mostly unprocessed foods (more on heavy workout days).
2.Aim for 2 cardio sessions, plus circuits/weights of some kind.
3. Drink at least 100 oz. of water.
4. Drink at least 2 cups of green tea.
5. Consume 3 main meals and 2 snacks, so I’m basically constantly chewing.
6. Track every calorie and workout in My Fitness Pal.
7. Get around 7-8 hours of sleep.

So why isn’t the scale budging? I’ve been struggling with this for awhile now, and I’m just stumped. My only thought is that I’m either in starvation mode,which seems unlikely to me, or I’m building muscle. I did think my calves looked rather toned this morning…I mean, still fat, obviously, but more toned than usual.

I just don’t understand why, being the size that I am and putting forth the effort that I am, this weight isn’t just falling off. Not even a pound a week at this point! Where am I going wrong? No, seriously. Hit the comments and please tell me why!

All I can do is keep pushing and moving forward. Do what I do and maybe try a few tweaks here and there–more calories? Less? More working out? I don’t know. But to that end, earlier this week I said, “screw you” to the scale and my non-responsive body and went out to both punish it a bit and conquer two long-held fears.

Fear #1: I don’t wear tank tops. If you read this blog regularly, you know this and you know what a big feat it was for me to wear one recently to spin class.

I one-upped that earlier this week, when the gorgeous 80ΒΊ sunshine was beckoning me outside for a run. My mom has always said that fat looks better tan πŸ™‚ so I threw on one of two sleeveless shirts I own and hit the pavement. This was a big deal. And of course, in my mind, everyone was staring. But I just cranked the Kelly Clarkson and kept moving, enjoying the warm sunshine beating down on me.

Fear #2: I live by the Mississippi River, which, in the city, has a beautiful trail that runs along both sides of it. This is by far my favorite place to run. It’s semi-secluded so I don’t feel on display, and has gorgeous views of the river…and the occasional shirtless hot runner man πŸ™‚ In my particular neck of the woods, there is a major bridge over the river that has a bit of an incline and wide sidewalks. In my almost ten years of living here, I’ve driven over this bridge plenty of times and watched countless strangers walk, run, and bike over the expansive waterway. I, personally, have never actually stepped foot on it. As I ran down to the river trail the other day, with a smile I thought to myself, “just keep going straight. Go over the bridge. Let’s finally do it.”
And I did. It was hot, I was sweaty and completely dying for air, I got honked at by a random in a car (what’s your endgame with that, sir?), but I did it. It was something I’ve always wanted to do, but have been too afraid of the incline and being that on display out in the open.

I conquered the bridge while wearing a tank top. Boom. Fears conquered.

While I may not be making progress on the scale, I know I’m making progress in other ways–in the toning and development of new muscle, in overcoming the mental games I play with myself, in the ramping up of my confidence and ability to allow myself to live my life. I take great pride in all of that. That’s progress. And the scale? Well, that’ll come, eventually.

Do you have a theory as to why I’m not losing lbs. on the scale? Have any tips or personal experience to share? Let me hear it!

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