Emotional

This has been quite. The. Week. I’ve been on a cliched roller coaster of emotion all week.

Everything started off normal enough–I had a great few days of workouts and super clean eating, I was getting enough sleep and enough water, doing exactly what I was supposed.

I designated Tuesday as my rest day this week, mostly because I was oddly sore from my first yoga class on Sunday morning and I had a doctor’s appointment that afternoon. I weighed myself that morning and was up four pounds from the previous day. Um, excuse me? That put in me in a rotten mood all day.

I got to the doctor’s office, ready to demand answers for why my body was being such a little bitch. I needed to know why my cycle has been so off lately (four times in less than two months) and why I’ve been so moody/plateaued/carb-craving/headachey/crampy/etc. I also wanted validation that my calorie intake/workout schedule was appropriate for what I was trying to do.

The doctor told me that: a) yes, my hormones were crazy, b) lowering my caloric intake by 100 and doing some sort of exercise seven days a week instead of six would hopefully bust the plateau, and c) the plateau/weird cycle/crazy hormones were a result of my body revolting and trying to return to a comfortable weight. Comfortable for who, body?

I felt better leaving her office, and, needing to return a few things, went for a little of my new favorite pastime: what size clothes can I fit into now? Well, I tried on a size-smaller shirt and a pair of “normal” sized pants. Low and behold, they (mostly) fit! I cannot tell you what a thrill this is. I’m so close to reaching another milestone: consistently shopping in non-plus size stores! I floated on that high the rest of the night.

Things were decidedly different the next morning when I stepped on the scale. Nothing. Still up four pounds from Monday. Quit being a little bitch, body. Get with the program. I was pissy all day, felt nauseous, didn’t really eat, went home and carbo-loaded. Like marathon runners do the night before a race.

That pattern continued in spades yesterday–I received some unwelcome personal news and was an emotional wreck, crying at my desk, crying myself to sleep, and eating way too many potatoes (random!). But today, I’m really trying to get my act together and get back on my game. I have no desire to quit or go back to old ways–that’s not even an option in my mind. But this hormone thing is killing me–I feel out of control, like the old me. When you combine those feelings with not seeing results on the scale even though I was working my butt off…well, I quite simply fell apart this week. Let’s acknowledge it, learn from it, and start kicking its ass. Here’s to taking control, making yourself proud, and not falling victim to old demons! 

6 thoughts on “Emotional

  1. Hi There! I just came across your blog and I love it. Thanks for being another supportive person in this crazy journey we have to face! I can’t tell you how much it means to me that someone else totally understands what I am going through!
    Right now I am on a downfall of emotions. I kinda fell off the wagon last week and I am desperately trying to work my way back up. Emotional eating has gotten the best of me this week. 😦
    But reading blogs, like yours really helps me out! So just wanted to say thank you!! Keep up the good work!

  2. I hope your week has gotten better. I love your green dress! Just remember it’s how your clothes fit not just the number on the scale. I hope they can get your hormones in balance….I know how painful and irritating that can be!!

    • Kalee, it’s been a rough few weeks/months, that’s for sure. I took a mini-vacay last week and am feeling rejuvenated, a bit more hormonally stable 🙂 and ready to kick this plateau’s butt–once and for all. And yes, getting away from the scale and recognizing victories beyond it is high on my priority list. Thanks for reading!

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