For me, there’s a sense of calm that has surrounded this entire weight loss journey. From January 17, when I took my first step, to right this very moment, I have felt completely at peace with everything that has and has not happened.
What do I mean by that? Well, it means that I haven’t once wavered in my decision to permanently get rid of this huge burden that’s been slowly destroying my life. This time, I know that this weight loss is forever. I feel it deep inside of me. This struggle will be by no means solved immediately. It will be a lifelong journey that I must commit myself to each and every day. And when the scale doesn’t budge, when I don’t workout, or when I make a poor food choice, I don’t lose sleep worrying over it, as I’ve done in the past. It simply becomes part of my story, a moment to be learned from and improved upon.
By no means am I saying that this journey is easy for me, or that I haven’t experienced moments of weakness. There’s been entire weeks where I haven’t worked out–consistently getting myself to sweat continues to be my biggest challenge. My mind still frequently goes to that horrible negative, self-critical place–I see pictures of myself and still can’t help but mentally call myself names and get discouraged at how big I still am. My hormone balance is all out of wack, I’ve plateaued over and over, and I’ve slipped up with my food and portion sizes.
But even realizing the Everest-sized mountain I’m climbing, even realizing how much weight I have yet to lose, and even realizing that my problems with food and weight will still exist when I do get the pounds off, none of that has for one second made me want to throw in the towel. Not once have I thought, “what’s the point? Give me a cupcake!” Not once have I been tempted to revert to my old ways and give up on the big, beautiful life I’m making for myself.
This is huge for me, as a perpetual over-thinker, over-analyzer, over-eater. I’ve developed an internal calmness. I’m no longer yelling and negative and hating everyone and everything. I’m finding happiness and peace in who I am: past, present, future. Embracing flaws and past mistakes. Embracing my increasingly bright future.
This is not a diet. This is not me trying to get skinny. This is not me trying to conform for anyone else’s sake.
This is a new lifestyle. A new way of living my fabulously blessed life. This is me getting healthy and fit and finding my inner badass. This is me making the life I’ve always wanted for myself.
The sense of calm, acceptance, peace, and determination that comes with not only realizing that fact, but living it is monumental. Try it. Wake up each day with the intention of making the healthiest choices for your new normal. Realize that you may slip up from time to time, but after acknowledging and learning from your mistakes, move on. You’re not perfect, but no one expects you to be. Get your mind right and the rest will naturally follow. Make peace with you, be proud of you.
Tell me one thing you’re proud of today.