Booster

Sometimes when you least expect it, you get a little bump from the Universe. A bump telling you to pay attention, snapping you back to reality, motivating you to buck up, get it together, get things back on track.

Life since my grandpa’s passing continues to be difficult. I am making poor choices left and right: irregular eating, bad food when I do eat, no exercise, keeping odd hours…and my skin is breaking out like crazy and I’m an emotional disaster. I mean, it doesn’t help that a certain monthly friend is hanging around, but still. I didn’t expect this to be so hard, and the addict in me is raging hard right now. Thankfully, I know it’s temporary. I know I’ll bounce back. And admitting that you’re having a problem is half the battle, so that’s a showing of progress, I think.

But acknowledged the problem doesn’t necessarily solve the problem, right? Acknowledging the behavior doesn’t stop the behavior. 

I’ve been feeling the effects of a prolonged week of bad choices. I don’t feel good, I don’t look good. But two separate times today, a co-worker stopped me to tell me how good I’m looking. Instead of feeling like I was sneaking one by everyone, making bad choices but not paying the consequence for it, my co-workers comments reminded me of how far I’ve come. And how much I don’t want to go back.

After work, I treated myself to a long overdue set of highlights at the salon. Freshly colored blonde locks always lift my spirits and make me feel a little more me. I left the salon feeling better than I have in awhile. I decided to stop at the grocery to grab some healthy food to make myself a healthy dinner…what a novel idea!
IMG_20130918_170303IMG_20130918_192654While smelling the cantaloupe (yep), I heard someone call my name. I turned around face to face with my favorite co-worker from The Job I Had Before This One That I Hated Desperately And Allowed To Nearly Kill Me (Literally). This co-worker was always so great to me, and tonight was no different. She went on and on about how great I look, how she wasn’t sure it was me, didn’t recognize me, because I looked so completely different. We talked for a bit, with Co-Worker continuing to heap the compliments on me, and said our good-byes. Not a minute later, she came rushing back over and said, “I just can’t believe how good you luck. Seriously. You look so good. So beautiful.” Day made, spirits lifted, confidence reaffirmed.

Yep. I’m not going back. Setbacks happen. You can acknowledge them, even indulge them. But the important takeaway from those hiccups? Realizing that you’ve finally, completely, truly made a lifestyle change. I’m not on a diet, I’m not just losing weight. I’m getting healthy. I’m evolving. I’m making my life while living my life.

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