I’ve been debating whether or not to write this post for awhile now, and while I’m still not entirely sure I want to/should push publish, I have to just say my peace and be done with it…
There’s a person I know who has a nasty cyber bullying habit of poking fun at people who are different than they are. This person’s favorite targets are frequently, but not always, overweight women (in addition to homosexuals, people of color, women in general, nonathletic men, etc). I know they are not the only, nor the first person to do so, and that their pathetic insults are symptomatic of a much, much larger cultural problem, but…enough is enough.
If I’ve learned anything over the past two years, it’s that no one is allowed to criticize me for simply being me. I am 100% allowed to look, think, feel, speak, and do as I please (within the realm of law and reason, of course). If I want to take a few dozen selfies of myself and post them to my Instagram, I can do that. You don’t like it? Don’t look. I can wear yoga pants in public even if I don’t have a thigh gap or if they aren’t a size small. You don’t like it? Don’t look.
You are always allowed to be exactly who you are. Always.
I could sit here and go on about how our personal confidence is what matters, that our differentness should be celebrated and not judged, and preach love for ourselves and others (ahem), but instead, I want to ask a seemingly simple question:
Why do you do what you do? What do you gain by tearing someone else down? And if who I am, what I stand for, or what I look like bothers you that much, then why bring attention to it passive-aggressively on a public platform via social media and not say it to my face? Who are you to make any one person feel less than? My dear Bully, you are not perfect—not in any sense of the word. You’ve screwed up, made mistakes and bad choices. But that’s okay. We all have. We’re all flawed. So, really, not one of us has any right to point out another’s misstep.
Finally, I have a request for this person and all other bullies out there: if you’re going to make fun of me at least be clever about it. Recycling the same fat jokes over and over doesn’t just make you mean. It makes you lazy, boring, unintelligent, and mean.
But forgive me, I’m not here to judge…and neither are you.